Cabin Fever by Sarah Masters

Author:Sarah Masters [Masters, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Erotic Romance Fiction
Publisher: Totally Bound Publishing
Published: 2013-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Ben found the walk through the forest easy—he had no trouble navigating his way, there were no surprise tree roots, and he didn’t have the massive urge to get the hell out due to fear. He did want to get out, though, go home and begin his life as Francois had said. Oddly, he hadn’t felt sad when they’d parted, just grateful. Gratitude had swamped him—he’d been filled with the stuff as he’d dressed and left the cabin, not even turning when he’d waved at Francois, who had been standing in the doorway. Naked.

Even that hadn’t made me want to stay.

He spent time on his journey home debating what had happened between them, why he’d given himself over like that, why he didn’t feel ashamed, why he didn’t feel an ounce of guilt at walking away with no intention of going back. It was as though he knew deep down their meeting had been some design of fate’s—stupid to think like that, fucking stupid. Fate had nothing to do with it—it just happened—and Francois had been sent to help him move on. But that feeling was there all the same however much he tried to deny it, and if it meant he now had the strength to go on without Charlie—as himself, not some prick who acted as the office clown—then he’d accept that fate explanation. It didn’t explain the cat, but fuck, he wasn’t going back into that forest so the cat wouldn’t be giving him any sleepless nights now.

As he strode out from the tree line and made his way to the bridge, he looked up at the stars and wondered whether Charlie was watching him. He’d like to think he was, nodding at Ben’s new state of mind, pleased he’d broken free from his self-imposed celibacy. Had been liberated from his own form of grief.

And it was all right. Ben was bursting with a sense of purpose, of wanting to live the best way he knew how, with someone who cared for him by his side. If that didn’t happen, if he didn’t find anyone, that was all right too. He could do casual.

I can if I loosen my morals a bit, lose the guilt of using someone. But if they’re using me too, what’s the harm? If I fuck someone just because I need to be held and that person needs it too…nothing wrong in that, is there?

He crossed the bridge, smiled at the sound of trickling water, and headed up the rise. Christ, he hadn’t felt so free since before Charlie had died. Young, that’s what he felt like. Like years had been shaved off his mental state and the courage of youth had returned along with the sense of being able to do what he wanted without fear of judgment. Of being himself, going for what he wanted, not worrying about whether Charlie would have agreed or not.

You’re not here, Charlie, but I am. There’s so much I want to explore, not just with life in general but sex.

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